Almost as much fun as the Forecaster's police blotter on some weeks, the USM Free Press reports on crimes occurring on their campuses. The April 10th issue had a motley assortment of these, including:
March 21 -- Someone burnt a wall poster in Upton Hastings Hall. (Incendiary censorship, or just the result of our recent dry climate conditions? Poof!)
March 22 -- Someone reported a subject throwing fireworks at the windows of Portland Hall from the rear parking lot. (And what subject would that be? Surely not gentle Sociology. More likely that rowdy subject, Statistics. Ha!)
March 23 -- Someone reported cash was taken from her purse while it was in the Continuing Education Center. Ther have been several similar incidents recently. (The high cost of education. Not content to leave us all in debt, now they are taking petty cash from our belongings.)
March 24 -- USM Police had a Portland Hall resident's car towed becuase of unpaid fines. The police have also charged the owner of the car with theft of a parking boot. (Wait... did they place the boot on the car, have it towed, and then charge the owner with theft of the boot? Much akin to the practice of banks charging overdraft fees on top of overdraft fees.)
March 24 -- On the same date, someone reported a group of intoxicated underage people harassing the residents of Dickey Wood Hall on the Gorham campus. (If you live in a hall called "Dickey Wood," you're bound to be harassed sooner or later, liquor or no liquor.)
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