Wednesday, June 14, 2006

But Did They See Who Did It?

Revisiting the theme of local police blotters, we find ourselves perusing the Biddeford/Saco/OOB Courier's blotter to read:
Security issues
A local business reported that a security camera had been stolen.
A tip of the hat to the New England Anomaly's own Amos Quito for pointing out this treasure trove.

Like other favorites of ours, the Courier excels at their police blotter in part because of fabulously amusing title headings customized to each report. More examples follow:
Making a deposit?A beagle named Buddy was reported lost on Main Street near City Hall. The wayward dog was located a short while later at the Pepperell Savings Bank.

Being proactive
A man called to report that he had suddenly come upon a stopped school bus on West Street and, because it was just around a corner, was unable to stop in time, so he passed the stopped bus as it was discharging children. At that time, police had not received any call from the school department.

Who won?
A caller advised that the second-floor tenants were making a lot of noise, and that it sounded like they were wrestling. Police responded and interviewed a man and his wife, who said they had been wrestling.

Too realistic
A caller reported the neighbors next door were having an argument and throwing things around. Police discovered that the neighbors were watching wrestling on television with the surround sound turned up. They were warned about the noise.

Stop the presses
A Fortunes Rocks resident reported seeing a suspicious vehicle stopping at every house in the neighborhood. Police located the vehicle and determined the driver was delivering newspapers.

Don’t worry, be happy
Police were dispatched to River Road for a report of a young male lying in the roadway. Two passersby parked their cars in the road to prevent anyone from running over the man, but said they were too afraid to check on him. Police arrived and found the man to be “conscious, alert and extremely happy.” The situation was resolved without need for a rescue.

Another commuter
Police received a report of a moose running down Alfred Street toward Sanford. County and state police were notified.

But was he Italian?
An employee at a local restaurant called to report a male customer acting intoxicated and unruly. He was described as wearing a white buttoned-down shirt with blue stripes and that he “appears Italian with a long face and strong, bold chin.” The employee thought he had left in a vehicle, and police stopped that vehicle, only to learn the man in question was not there. An alert was issued to Maine State Police.

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