Police blotter bonanza

I wound up with a copy of the Biddeford-Saco-OOB Courier from January 18, 2007, after working on the Emptyhouse Film zombie movie "2" (the Courier had run an article about the production). I was getting ready to dispose of the rest of the issue when I noticed they have a great blotter on page 25, "Police Notes." This is some priceless stuff! The staff is to be commended for their excellent efforts in titling each item of interest.

For your enjoyment, I will transcribe the best of the bunch.

Police Notes
Biddeford
Lost laundry
Police received a call about a basket of laundry in the roadway. The caller said he picked up the laundry and moved it to the McDonald's parking lot. Officers were unable to locate the laundry.

Not a bank robber
Police responded to a call about a man that was pacing in front of the Biddeford Savings Bank for more than 10 minutes. Police approached the subject and learned he was simply waiting for a bus.
[I wonder if they offered him a ride? --M]

They're all going to laugh at you
A woman called police and claimed harassment after she alleged that a group of people were laughing at her at Common Connection.

Saco
Big money
A vehicle on Ura Street was burglarized. The owners reported $1 worth of items stolen.

Bah Humbug
The baby Jesus in a nativity scene in front of Notre Dame Church was stolen. It was valued at $100.
[Maybe it was time for him to move on? --M]

Darn teenagers
A 13-year-old girl was reported as a runaway shortly before being recovered in front of city hall on Main Street.

For those who, like myself on slow nights, enjoy the mild entertainment factor of unambitious crimes and confused call-ins about suspicious activity, the Courier has kindly made available the text files of their issues online, which you can search for Police Notes, and come up with a bumper crop of your own reading material. Here's the link:
Search the Courier for more Police Notes material!

The latest addition, as of the writing of this post, was from August 21st, and included such fabulous items as:

NIGHT SWIMMERS

Police took a report of people swimming in a resident’s pool at 2:30 a.m. The caller reported at the time they thought it may have been an animal that made a splash in the pool, but upon waking they found a table broken by a person who stepped on it.
[What?!! --M]

HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?

A person called police to report area juveniles had thrown apples at her vehicle. When police spoke with the woman, she said she was angry and admitted to making up the story about her vehicle being struck by the apples.

What are you waiting for?! Go read more!