Farmington Paradise?

Licia Kuenning predicted that June 6, 2006, would bring a new world order to the town of Farmington, Maine. Sadly, it seems not to have happened. In a belated note on her website, she says:

The events predicted here didn't happen. I don't know why. I'm not going to predict a revised date for them, or pretend that they happened in some spiritual sense. I'm leaving the text of the prophecy on this website so that people who've seen it discussed can read it here.

More on this later.

Arrest Hindered by Moose

Police in Waterville had trouble using a tracking dog to pursue fugitive Justin "J.J." LaCroix last Saturday. As it turned out, LaCroix had a secret accomplice.

More than an hour into the chase, [Officer Jeffrey] Bearce said, a man saw a moose come out of the woods. The animal apparently had been on the same path as LaCroix and contaminated the trail, Bearce said.

"They came across a moose out of the woods on Silvermount Street, and he contaminated the track across to Silver Street," Bearce said. "He was running in the same place the kid ran." [Source]

It's ALIVE!!! Poetry Comix #7

After a two year hiatus, Poetry Comix returns like a bonk on the head! Issue #7, long awaited, will be on local countertops soon (try Strange Maine!).

Now that that's out of the way and off to see the world on its own, I am looking for submissions for #8.

The guidelines are very basic:
1. Art should be 8 1/2 x 11 (one piece per issue can be 11x17 for the centerfold) and photocopy-ready. It can be up to 4 pages in length, if it needs to be, though most folks stick to 1 or 2 pages.
2. What do you do? Well, pick a poem, song lyrics, or a lyrical fiction excerpt that you would like to interpret visually, and go to it! We're pretty liberal here. Have fun!!!
3. Submit by JULY 31st and mail to me at:
Michelle Souliere
Poetry Comix
P.O. Box 8203
Portland, ME 04104

You could also get away with dropping it off at Strange Maine care of Brendan or Michael or whoever else might be working. Email me with any questions! michelle.souliere(AT)gmail.com

Poetry Comix is a black and white zine that is distributed in the Portland, Maine area and elsewhere free of charge. And it's a good way to get up off your butt and do something FUN!

If you miss the July 31st dealine, don't let that scare you away -- send your stuff in and I'll use in the next upcoming issue no matter WHEN you send it!

Maine UFO Sighting

Guest post by Loren Coleman!
------------------------------
re: The Wonders of St. John's Day

http://www.cryptomundo.com/cryptozoo-news/stjohnsx/

also consider:

June 24, 1967, Trenton, Maine - Two people sighted a silver-gray, hat-shaped
object hovering about 500 feet from the shoreline in Trenton, Maine at
around 10 a.m. Eastern Daylight Time. It emitted a vapor at its base. The
object ascended into a fog bank and descended again at a greater distance
before moving away. (Source: Raymond E. Fowler, UFOs Interplanetary
Visitors, pg. 349).

Dunwich in Maine

Local Lovecraftian short film maker Christian Matzke is at it again! Next up on his heaping plate of horror is an adaptation of H. P. Lovecraft's The Dunwich Horror and The Terrible Old Man. Shooting on the main body of the film occurred this past weekend, and all systems are now go. To check out the keen website and get more info about the film, please go to http://www.dunwichthemovie.com/

Additional Matzke/Tarling shenanigans can be viewed here, where Yog-sothoth.com has kindly posted his film Experiment 17 as streaming Quicktime video for your viewing displeasure. Urk!

Legends of the Haunted Mansion

The Portland Phoenix has just printed a story about Funtown's old Haunted Mansion and its crew. As a child, I saw the Mansion through the car window every time my parents drove by on our twilight way to visit relatives in Biddeford. It was a mysterious presence, an object of curiosity and dread. Later, as an adult, when I went back to revisit it, it was gone. Sometime during the intervening years, in 1996 in fact, the Mansion had disappeared. It's hard to say whether the sense of genuine loss of something you had is more poignant than the void left when you never even had something in the first place to lose.

Every now and then thoughts of it occurred to me, but those were generally set by as a futile exercise. It was gone. It wasn't coming back. No sense in crying over spilt milk. I went on to drown my sorrows in annual pilgrimages to Spooky World in Massachusetts, first in Berlin, and then when it moved to Foxboro. The sense of loss returned more sharply, this time, as Spooky World finally was dismantled too, early in the fall of 2004. I went to the auction of all the props and costumes and watched as the scavengers from all across the country descended on these relics of a place that was a second home to many of its actors, including my husband.

It was like attending a funeral. It WAS a funeral. The actors that could bear it had come, hiding behind their sunglasses and clustering in little groups together, some hoping to depart with a souvenir -- a favorite costume, a friendly ghoul that they had been stationed by in one of the five haunted houses -- though few were successful as early bidding ran exorbitantly high, and not many of us had enough hope to stay through to the bitter end.

That fall I found myself working as an actor alongside many of these folks, the rare and strange breed that is the haunter, at Evilville, in Carver, Massachusetts. Evilville only lasted a year, built as a benefit for the Edaville Railroad Park, and staffed entirely by volunteers, well over a hundred of us, there simply for the love of haunting, all dressed in old Spooky World costumes that had been bought as a lot at the auction by one of the old makeup loft managers.

We drove down after leaving our fulltime jobs on Friday, worked Friday and Saturday night at the haunt, then drove back to Maine (a good 3 and a half hour haul each way), arriving back in the wee hours of the morning on Sunday, only to get up early Monday morning to start our regular jobs again. It was exhausting, but no different (with the exception of that excruciating drive) from the way all the rest of the cast had to squeeze haunting into their own fulltime schedules, some of them even working at other haunts during the week in addition to their "normal" year-round jobs.

Halloween comes but once a year. And for many of us it's a carnival season, from that first appearance of cheesy Halloween merchandise in the stores in August to the last scramble for marked-down Halloween items the week after the holiday itself.

[Which brings me to a sideways point in this ramble of nostalgia and loss -- why is it that we have to travel out of state for a really good haunt? Massachusetts is crawling with them. Even New Hampshire has a handful of largescale seasonal haunts to its name. But MAINE -- the home of Stephen King, Glenn Chadbourne, Rick Hautala, and countless other cool ghouls -- we have no major haunt attractions come October, save the somewhat fluffy Haunted Hayrides. Why is this??? This question has bothered me for years now.]

In fact, in dismissing my longing for the Haunted Mansion as futile, I had overlooked a cadre of haunters from my own home state. Dave Gagne, one of the Haunted Mansion spooks, runs a website now at www.hauntedmansion.org that recollects the Mansion and provides a touchpoint for old members of the cast to stay in touch.

Looking at the photos was a strange experience. The juxtaposition of the flaming ruin of the House paired with the camaraderie of the staff members watching it burn reminded me in a more graphic sense of what went on at the Spooky World auction two years ago. On a more fun note, looking at the photos of the cast in action at Funtown was hilarious and wonderful. Oh, the glee they must have had in adding an element of spook to the summer fun and beach blonde crowd!!! It looks like it was a ton of fun. I would love to see more pictures of the interior someday.

Like the Homeless Haunters of Spooky World (or ex-Spookies), the Haunted Mansion spooks had a final day in the shade when they worked with a bunch of the old costumes and props at the Seashore Trolley Museum in Kennebunkport:

After the mansion burned, Parker said he went “through a bad period of mourning.” For a couple of years afterward, some of the crew volunteered to do a Halloween gig for the Haunted Trolley Ride at the Seashore Trolley Museum in Kennebunkport, where Cormier had donated most of the Mansion’s props. Most of the monsters were in their mid-to-late 20s by then, with 40-hour-a-week careers and growing families. It would be their last terrible hurrah. The gig required them to dress in their old Mansion costumes and line up in a phalanx at the crest of a hill. When the haunted trolley rounded the bend and “stalled” it was Libby’s job to bellow, “Death to all who oppose us!”

“And we’d all go running down the hill,” said Parker, waving his arms in the air to demonstrate. “And they’d all be trapped in the trolley car screaming and trying to get out. But they couldn’t go anywhere. They had nowhere to go. It was great.”

Sounds like home to me.

Phoenix article by Sara Donnelly here.

I Brake for Crippled Chickens

If you'll be driving on Forest Ave. in Portland on Thursday between 2 and 3, watch out for hobbling poultry in front of Kentucky Fried Chicken. It's part of a PETA protest:

A giant crippled "chicken" will repeatedly cross the road in front of a local KFC to lead a protest against the company's abusive treatment of chickens. Other PETA members will distribute leaflets to passersby, and one activist will wear a body screen TV showing shocking video footage of factory-farming abuse. [Source]

Isn't "crippled" a non-PC word? I think they should call it a "differently-abled" chicken.

Accumulation of Bigfoot

Loren Coleman mentions that more treasures are arriving daily for the "Cryptozoology: Out of Time Place Scale," exhibit opening June 24th up at Bates College in Lewiston.

Orang Pendek in Maine

Come to Maine this summer, and see what a three-feet-tall alleged creature still existing in Sumatra apparently left for a footprint, next to the replica of the skull of the three-foot-tall "Hobbit," Homo floresiensis. We do inhabit interesting times.

Read Full Post and view more photos...

A 1932 Jewel!

The 1932 Deering High School yearbook, the Amethyst, is full of tidbits of time-traveling wonder. The art page prefacing the senior class' pictures is of a spaceship! They were thinking of the future.

The commencement of the Class of 1932 included both a Bible Reading and speeches on a number of pertinent topics, including Superstition, interestingly enough. Also included (to give you an idea) were: an essay on Progress, and essay called "In Those Days," and essays on Travel, Education, and Amusement. What I wouldn't give to read a few of those transcripted -- a window into what the high school senior of 1932 thought of the world of their day and of that gone before.

I don't know if it is because of the seemingly severe style of the day, but in the portraits of the graduating seniors, many of them look of an age well beyond the 18 years or so most of them must have been.

The copy of The Amethyst that I have belonged to Reginald Doyle. I bet he never figured his yearbook would wind up an acute object of interest in the year 2006! It came all the way back to Maine from an eBay seller in Tucson, Arizona, so it's certainly made the rounds.

You can look forward to a series of posts on the items of interest I find within over the next little while! Coming attractions will include various coverages of obscure school clubs, the outrageous candid photo collages and their accompanying commentary (quite as outrageous as the photos themselves), selections from the senior class portraits, and anything else juicy we can lay our hands on.

Lucky Sticky 13!!!

Maple syrup has a new lucky number! The Department of Agriculture has released figures indicating that Maine maple syrup production rose 13 percent last year. According to the Bangor Daily News, "Syrup production in Maine during the spring totaled 300,000 gallons, up from 265 gallons in 2005[...]"

While Vermont still beat us and everyone else overall (darn them!), they are now awash in the 460,000 gallons of syrup they produced, so we should all take some roadtrips over there and start licking, 'cause they're bound to be sticky. I'll bring my cats.

Whoo!!! MAPLE SYRUP!!!!!

Marden's Mattress Attack!!!

The Lewiston Sun Journal reported today that a renegade mattress waylaid a hapless motocyclist this weekend near Greene.

Motorcycle rider hits mattress on Route 202
By Max Mogensen, Staff Writer
Monday, June 19,2006
GREENE - A Lewiston man was thrown from his motorcycle Sunday afternoon after his bike hit a mattress on the road.

The man, Richard Breton, 38, of Lewiston, was returning home from a motorcycle ride about 2 p.m. when he crashed on Route 202 just across the town line in Greene.

Breton struck a mattress that had fallen from a truck driving out of Lewiston on Route 202. The truck was carrying the mattress from Marden's Surplus store, where it had been purchased earlier that day.

Breton wasn't seriously hurt, though he was taken to Central Maine Medical Center for tests. "I just got some scratches and bruises," he said. He was later released.

Breton, a father, had asked his son Jake to accompany him on the motorcycle ride. "He wanted to stay in the pool," the senior Breton said. Later, Breton was thankful to escape injury and more thankful that his 10-year-old son declined his offer.

"All in all," said Breton, "Father's Day wasn't too bad."

My friends and I often sang along to Marden's commercials as children. Our favorite version was "I should have shot it when I saw it at Marden's!" We did so very gleefully, and would just as gleefully go shopping with our moms at Marden's when the chance arose.

EVENT: Downeast Humah - The Next Generation!

WHERE? Strange Maine, 578 Congress Street, Portland, Maine
WHEN? Thursday, June 22, 2006 at about 8:00pm
WHAT? The Downeast Humah of Cliff Huxtable & Warren Estes, appearing as an interlude during the EP Release Celebration of Glade Swope. Also starring Dan Knudsen. All ages, FREE!
HUH? For more info, call 771-9997

A new generation of Maine humor is being wrought Frankenstein-like from the elements aforegone. Come pull up a stoop and listen to the wicked amusing puzzlements of two fellers who have studied up on their gumpwedges, whiffs, big whoops, fiddleheads, puckerbrush, and rhubarb. In fact, they've been right out straight. So come and watch them get down to business. Or don't! Same diff. Only if you don't, you'll be missing out, big time.

Not to be confused with the Maine Hysterical Society, shown here.

Murders at Smuttynose

Just past midnight on March 6, 1873, two Norwegian women—Karen and Anethe Christensen—were murdered on Smuttynose Island in the Isles of Shoals by Louis Wagner, a German fisherman. A third woman, Maren Hontvet, lived to tell the tale.

SeacoastNH.com has Hontvet's testimony against Wagner, a list of other possible suspects, and poet Celia Thaxter's account of the crimes:

The moonlight shines full in his face; she shrieks loudly and distinctly, "Louis, Louis!" Ah, he is discovered, he is recognized! Quick as thought he goes back to the front door, at the side of which stands an ax, left there by Maren, who had used it the day before to cut the ice from the well. He returns to Anethe standing shuddering there. It is no matter that she is beautiful, young, and helpless to resist, that she has been kind to him, that she never did a human creature harm, that she stretches her gentle hands out to him in agonized entreaty, crying piteously, "Oh, Louis, Louis, Louis!" He raises the ax and brings it down on her bright head in one tremendous blow, and she sinks without a sound and lies in a heap, with her warm blood reddening the snow.

EVENT: Silent Disco Saturday at the A1!!!

Anyone who gets photos of THIS event can consider themselves a Strange Maine Cub Reporter if they'll send them to me for posting on the site! Wow. Possibly the coolest idea for a Maine event since Zombie Kickball and the Moxie Festival.

Speaking of which, I wound up out of town during Zombie Kickball the other week -- did anyone get any photos???

At any rate, read on to find out about the latest...
Photo of Birthday Present & Monkey Disco Fighting at Bubba's by Matthew Robbins
--------------------------------------------------------

A quick reminder that this Saturday June 16 at 12:30 afternoon, the first Silent Disco will occur! Dancers will meet outside of the A1 Diner as we gather and become a crazy, silent, dancing mob in the streets of Downtown Gardiner.
Bring iPod, mp3, Cd player with headphones! Cassette players too.

your humble artist,
Peter

home: 1-207-622-7467
mobile: 1-917-495-1713
pbuotte@exite.com more info

EVENT: Hug a Sasquatch for Art!!!

Loren Coleman has announced the upcoming opening of the Cryptozoology Exhibit at Bates College in Lewiston, on June 24th. The exhibit looks like it is going to be downright fantastic! There doesn't seem to be a public gala opening, which is too bad, but museum hours are mentioned below, and I, for one, am planning on packing up a couple of carloads of friends to go take a peek.

According to Coleman's article about the exhibit (source):

Some of the items from the International Cryptozoology Museum’s collection, contained in my installation at Bates, probably will include:
- 8 ft-tall, 500 pound “Crookston Bigfoot,”
- hair and fecal samples from 1950s Yeti expeditions,
- first public American replica of the Homo floresiensis skull,
- Yosemite Killer Cary Stayner’s Bigfoot sketches,
- Meganthropus and Gigantopithecus Krantz-replica skulls,
- Homo erectus newyorkensis replica skull,
- art representing Lake Monsters, Sea Serpents, and Mothman,
- footcasts of Sasquatch, Yeti, Yowie, Thylacine, and Cryptid Cats,
- unique one-of-a-kind cryptid figurines and unknown hominoid bronzes,
- historic cryptozoology expedition flags,
- Chupacabras wooden figures,
- Okapi and Sasquatch 1940s’ enumerations,
- rare American and foreign-language cryptozoology books,
- rare paper collectibles,
- Tom Slick-related objects,
- and much more.

Please see the Museum's website for more information. Directions are as follows:
The College is located approximately three miles from Maine Turnpike Exit 80 (formerly Exit 13, Lewiston Exit).

From the South: take Exit 80 and turn left onto Alfred A. Plourde Parkway at the stop sign at the end of the off ramp.
From the North: take Exit 80 and bear right onto Plourde Parkway.

Continue straight on Plourde until it deadends at Webster Street (second stoplight). Turn left onto Webster and follow for 1 mile to the first stoplight at Farwell Street. Turn right onto Farwell and follow .6 miles to stoplight. Continue straight across intersection onto Russell Street. Follow Russell through two stoplights, then turn left onto Bardwell Street (across from the Bardwell Street Variety) into the museum parking lot.

Click here for a map of campus: http://www.bates.edu/central-detail.xml

Museum hours:
Tuesday - Saturday, 10 AM-5 PM
Address:
75 Russell Street, Lewiston, Maine 04240
Phone: 207-786-6158
Fax: 207-786-8335
Email: museum@bates.edu

Do Not Try This At Home Without an Umbrella

Experiments conducted in Buckfield by Fritz Grobe and Stephen Voltz of EepyBird.com have shaken the scientific community.

Well, not really, but they have produced some really cool videos of soda shooting up in a "hysterical and spectacular mint-powered version of the Bellagio Fountains in Las Vegas." The trick is to combine large quantities of Diet Coke with large quantities of Mentos and then stand back.

What happens if you consume these two substances together? Consider this video a cautionary tale:

But Did They See Who Did It?

Revisiting the theme of local police blotters, we find ourselves perusing the Biddeford/Saco/OOB Courier's blotter to read:

Security issues
A local business reported that a security camera had been stolen.

A tip of the hat to the New England Anomaly's own Amos Quito for pointing out this treasure trove.

Like other favorites of ours, the Courier excels at their police blotter in part because of fabulously amusing title headings customized to each report. More examples follow:

Making a deposit?A beagle named Buddy was reported lost on Main Street near City Hall. The wayward dog was located a short while later at the Pepperell Savings Bank.

Being proactive
A man called to report that he had suddenly come upon a stopped school bus on West Street and, because it was just around a corner, was unable to stop in time, so he passed the stopped bus as it was discharging children. At that time, police had not received any call from the school department.

Who won?
A caller advised that the second-floor tenants were making a lot of noise, and that it sounded like they were wrestling. Police responded and interviewed a man and his wife, who said they had been wrestling.

Too realistic
A caller reported the neighbors next door were having an argument and throwing things around. Police discovered that the neighbors were watching wrestling on television with the surround sound turned up. They were warned about the noise.

Stop the presses
A Fortunes Rocks resident reported seeing a suspicious vehicle stopping at every house in the neighborhood. Police located the vehicle and determined the driver was delivering newspapers.

Don’t worry, be happy
Police were dispatched to River Road for a report of a young male lying in the roadway. Two passersby parked their cars in the road to prevent anyone from running over the man, but said they were too afraid to check on him. Police arrived and found the man to be “conscious, alert and extremely happy.” The situation was resolved without need for a rescue.

Another commuter
Police received a report of a moose running down Alfred Street toward Sanford. County and state police were notified.

But was he Italian?
An employee at a local restaurant called to report a male customer acting intoxicated and unruly. He was described as wearing a white buttoned-down shirt with blue stripes and that he “appears Italian with a long face and strong, bold chin.” The employee thought he had left in a vehicle, and police stopped that vehicle, only to learn the man in question was not there. An alert was issued to Maine State Police.

EVENTS: Riverton Trolley Park

Portland Parks and Recreation and the Friends of the Riverton Trolley Park will be celebrating the 110th anniversary of the Grand Opening of the Park during the week of June 19.

Pre-registration is appreciated as some of the events have limited availability. Please leave a message for Denise at 766-2970.

Please join us for the following activities:

Monday, June 19
Slide Show: "Remembering Trolleys, Casinos, Bandstands and Rustic Theaters"
2:00-4:00pm Wilde Chapel, Evergreen Cemetery (FREE!)

Thursday, June 22
Memorabilia Sharing: Bring your family stories, post cards and other memorabilia from the Park. Keep the Park alive by sharing with others!
2:00-4:00pm Riverton Community Center, 1600 Forest Avenue (FREE!)

Thursday, June 22
Guided Historic Walk of Riverton Trolley Park, complete with enlarged images ($2 per person)
5:00-6:00pm or 5:30-6:30pm, meet at the ballfield on Riverside Street

The Crashing Green

Deering Oaks has suffered another fatality in the wake of the weeks of downpours that Portland has been subjected to. One of the grand oak trees that grace its grassy slopes has fallen. The slope it was on became too waterlogged to hold it in place any longer, and without the additional depth necessary in its roots, the great titan toppled.

This happened over the weekend, and I discovered it on my way to work Monday morning. Poor tree! I paid it a visit and said farewell. I took this photo on my way to work this morning while it was still lying in state. Click on the image to view a larger version. The fallen tree is lying across the path to the right of the photo, with its branches extended into the reedy neck of the duckpond.

Handkerchief Moody

I've just uploaded to my Maine Genealogy Blog excerpts from the diary of Rev. Joseph Moody of York (1718-53)—also known as "Handkerchief Moody." The diary was written in a "Latin cipher," but that's the least strange thing about Moody.

The story goes that, after Moody accidentally killed a young friend, his father "compelled his son to sit up all night with the body of his friend as an atonement." Moody was so overcome with guilt that he wore a handkerchief over his face for the rest of his life—even while in the pulpit. He was the inspiration for Nathaniel Hawthorne's story, "The Minister's Black Veil":

"Why do you tremble at me alone?" cried he, turning his veiled face round the circle of pale spectators. "Tremble also at each other! Have men avoided me, and women shown no pity, and children screamed and fled, only for my black veil? What, but the mystery which it obscurely typifies, has made this piece of crape so awful? When the friend shows his inmost heart to his friend; the lover to his best beloved; when man does not vainly shrink from the eye of his Creator, loathsomely treasuring up the secret of his sin; then deem me a monster, for the symbol beneath which I have lived, and die! I look around me, and, lo! on every visage a Black Veil!"

The Hawthorne story was, in turn, the inspiration for Rick Moody's 2002 book The Black Veil: A Memoir with Digressions. His Author Photo Gallery has some neat items, including a picture of a guy dressed up like Handkerchief Moody for a festival at York's First Congregational Church, and a "bad photo of a fake portrait of 'Handkerchief' Moody painted by a friend of my father's."

Execution, Bowdoin Style

Well, I had a lucky windfall yesterday and scored a 1961 copy of Bowdoin's yearbook for free! Hooray!

Found this interesting photo in amidst all the other brouhaha, and thought you all might appreciate the oddity.Click on the image to see a larger version. The text on the placard reads "HERE LIES THE DRUNKEN ANIMAL."

Historic Home Ec

Well, I just got my 1932 copy of the Deering High School yearbook, the Amethyst, in the mail from eBay. Wow! These things are like time machines. For instance, I have to say that for the record, the home economics course of study looked nothing like this when I was there (circa 1987-1989)...

666 Come and Gone

Well, June 6, 2006, has come and gone. It was a tremendously gorgeous day (see photographic proof in case you are doubting there was ever any sun in Maine lately), which is good, because today the weather is just crummy again.

If that's your idea of an apocalypse -- umpty-million buckets of rain all spring long -- then I guess we're doomed, but otherwise things seem much the same. I went to see the late showing of the remake of The Omen last night as the closer for the day.

No word yet on whether Licia Kuenning's prediction that Farmington, Maine, will become the new paradise of Christ on earth on June 6, 2006 -- perhaps that is still playing itself out. I haven't heard a peep yet in the news or on her website, though I am reading up some more on the book she wrote about it and her history as a Quaker. Interesting stuff, paradise or no paradise. More posting on that shortly.

Tongues Make Statement

Back when I was taking classes at USM part-time in the late '90s, I took a great class in Renaissance Lit with Professor Bertram. One evening when we were all out on break, wandering up and down the stairwells in search of vending machines as usual, we found something disturbing on the stairwell. To all appearances it was a tongue. A fleshy, squishy tongue. On fetching Professor Bertram, we determined that it was unlikely that it was a human tongue because of its size. It was more likely to be a cow or sheep tongue, probably bought from a local butcher. As to its presence on the stairwell landing... who can say?

Later on I heard that tongues had also been stuffed into various other locations around the campus, including faculty mailboxes. Obviously this was meant to be a protest of some sort, or maybe even just a prank. The reasoning (or lack thereof) behind the episode was never revealed to my knowledge.

This is one of those historical episodes in my life that remains a mystery. If anyone knows more about it or has any recollections of their own to add to the account, please feel free to comment!

Screwed Hay and Unlucky Thirteen

More fun from the Portland, Maine newspaper, the Eastern Argus, Friday Dec. 9, 1836, issue!

Here we find a couple of interesting ads. One of the fine things about old newspaper articles is the use of outmoded terminology that just sounds funny to our blunted modern ears. Evidence at hand: "screwed hay." Also attached is another ad, placed for a fellow who has had bad luck at the account of his $13 promissory note. To wit:

D.H. COLE Agent for farmers, has good and safe accommodations for storing SCREWED HAY, and offers his services in making sales of that article. None but the first quality will be received. Sales guaranteed. Charges moderate.

NOTICE. I the Subscriber to hereby forbid all persons purchasing a note given by me to Frederick Wescott, of Westbrook, dated June 22, 1836 -- the amount of said Note is thirteen dollars, for I never received the value of said Note and shall not pay it. BENJAMIN SAWYER, Westbrook, Nov. 23, 1836.

Axe Murderer for Sale

I found this interesting listing on eBay this morning:
Portland Maine Edwardian WEIRD COUPLE Scary photo 1910

With two days left on the auction, the price is just over $8 for this interesting specimen of Portland, Maine cabinet photography. The lister has concocted a story around their impression of the character of the male subject:

Antique Edwardian photograph.
This is a scary couple.
Look at his eyes. Very creepy and eeries, like he's going to grab you.
She has gold rimmed spectacles and a pearl bead necklace.
Taken approx 1910, and is held in a green paperboard holder with an art deco embossed edge. Sized overall in holder 8 1/4" x 5 1/2"
Photographer is Brandt of Portland ME Maine.
Great detail.Clean. Sepia tone. Light ageing here and there.

Either way, it is an excellent photo, very clearly focused and well-preserved. Interesting to note is that the photo is darker on the male's half of the frame, perhaps contributing to the seller's interpretation of the scenario characters.

Portland's First Bank Robber

Portland's First Bank Robber
Guest post by Dugan Murphy
(with apologies to Mr. Murphy -- I told him I posted this last week, forgetting it had been bumped by Zombie Kickball announcements! whoops!)
On the morning of August 3, 1818, Joseph Swift, a cashier at the Cumberland Bank, discovered that over $200,000.00 had been stolen from the vault. That may not buy you one of Portland's new luxury condos, but I can assure you that it was a tidy sum 188 years ago. Portland at the time was a small yet bustling settlement of three thousand people and the building in which the store Strange Maine currently resides wouldn't be built for another five years. The town was also decades away from organizing its first police force. There was only a loose, municipally-organized team of night watchmen – Spam really. Seth Bird, Inspector of the Watch, led the investigation.

He noted that the vault had little evidence of tampering and, upon questioning, the bank managers mentioned that the lock had recently been taken to Ellis' Blacksmith Shop for repair. It was there that Inspector Bird caught wind of one Daniel D. Manley, a Long Wharf junk shop keeper, who was seen eyeing the lock suspiciously while it was in for repair.

Bird found evidence of key copying at Manley's shop, but took in his accomplice, a man named Rolfe. He led the inspector to where he and Manley buried the money after being offered his freedom in exchange for compliance. It was near the water's edge, close to where the Portland Company complex now (still) stands off eastern Fore Street, that they started digging by candlelight. When they found no dough, Rolfe knew he had been betrayed and reportedly blew his brains out right there on the spot, his body collapsing into the very hole they had just dug.

Seth Bird soon caught up with Daniel Manley himself and confronted him with his partner's confession. The inspector also offered him the bank's finder's reward – one thousand dollars. This obliged Manley to lead the lawmen to Scarborough Marsh where they got to digging again, only to find the loot once again missing! One can only imagine how they each must have felt at this turn of events. The money had actually been found a day earlier by clam diggers, and only a few gold coins short of the reported total.

Daniel D. Manley spent twelve years in prison, afterward returning to business in Portland, supposedly with the reward money that he shared with the clammers. He was buried in Eastern Cemetery with the epitaph, “Portland's First Bank Robber.” Unfortunately, the stone is worn to the point of illegibility, but it nevertheless stands to this very day.

If you find any of this inaccurate, don't blame me, blame Herbert G. Jones, author of Old Portland Town, written in 1938 for Machingonne Press.

Skunky Revenge

Beth Pulsipher of Damariscotta noticed a strange item in the local police blotter, and blogged about it at Red Moon Antiques - the Vintage Blogger:

An officer had issued a summons to a local man for applying skunk scent to the front steps of the village hall. Skunk scent is usually made from skunk musk gland, and is extremely difficult to remove from fabric - like carpeting.

[snip]

It didn't take too long for the village officials to determine who the likely suspect was, and after an investigation by the police department, a summons was issued. No mention was made of why this individual was so mad at the village officials, but he certainly found an unusual way to get even.

More Strange Police Calls

In my ever present search for community newspapers that print police call logs, I've finally run across a worthy competitor to the Gorham Times. The Rochester, NH police log at Fosters Online is a selection of items from the hundreds of calls the police receive. Here are my favorite strange calls from the month of May.

4:08 p.m. A vehicle, with its Massachusetts plate number noted, drives over a newly seeded lawn at 210 Gonic Road.

6:41 p.m. Another grass hater runs over a lawn in Fieldstone Village.

11:01 a.m. A man said to be wearing "a lot of clothes" sits in the breakdown lane near the Hi-Vu Motor Inn.

2:56 p.m. A gentleman described as "an older, yucky" male sits near the Exit 13 ramp.

2:08 p.m. A gentleman reports that his mother has clunked him on the head with a frozen ice bottle.

1:22 a.m. Ten teens at Cumberland Farms on Highland Street steal a package of Slim Jims and threaten the clerk, who presses the panic hold-up button. Police respond with commendable swiftness, but the thieves have taken off.

8:09 p.m. On Unity Street, juveniles beat up a Porta-Potty.

9:34 p.m. On Brock Street, a woman carrying a child is waving hi "in a very dramatic manor."

4:52 p.m. Four-wheelers are a plague on Harry Street in Gonic.

8:29 p.m. A tall man with his arm in a sling steals an 18-pack of beer from the South Main Mobil.

12:59 p.m. A man and woman, both over six feet in height, argue on Gonic's Main Street and then vanish into woods. Police find no trace of the pair, but don't dismiss it as a tall tale.

6:40 p.m. A group of girls place purses in the middle of Oak Street and are amused by cars trying to avoid the obstructions.

7:36 p.m. At Stop-N-Go on Gonic Road a lady wanders in a daze after her boyfriend "freaks out" and dashes into the woods.


And my favorite series of calls.....

11:59 p.m. A gentleman calls to say he cannot find his Billy Ray Cyrus CD and names his own mother as a suspect.

12:10 a.m. The Billy Ray Cyrus CD has still not appeared, despite another search, and the caller wishes to file a complaint against his mother. He is told that due to flooded cellars, washed out roads and massive evacuations, among other stuff, it could be a while.

12:12 a.m. The Billy Ray Cyrus CD is found!

Yerd Sale

3 or 4 years ago, on one of our regular weekend flea marketing trips south of Portland, we were coming back on Route 1 after hitting the Cascades outdoor flea market outside of Saco/Old Orchard Beach.

The utility pole at the corner next to the Dairy Bar in Scarborough is frequent host to homemade yard sale signs all summer long. This weekend was no exception. On the pole was a large cardboard sign written on with black marker. In large letters, it proclaimed, "YERD SALE"! To this day we wish that we had been brazen enough to take it, or that we had a camera with us in the car, because few people believe us that such a strange thing really existed.

We will never forget you, Yerd Sale.

Now In Process of Erection

Here is a nifty old penny-postage post card that I found when scrounging around in a drawer full of old postcards at a local marine surplus store. Interesting to see it when new, before it became neighbors to the newer court buildings and the courthouse parking garage!

A Traveling Lord of the Flies

In my pursuit of community newspapers and their police logs, I stumbled upon the Windham Independent. While their police call column could not compare in pure strangeness to "The Blotter" in the Gorham Times, Windham's community newspaper did carry a column called News of the Weird. While this isn't about a local incident, it's bizarro factor compells me to share it. It's really inexplicable.

"Long Island, N.Y., bus driver Michael Cianci, 38, was chareged in April with child-endangerment for allegedly setting up a hierarchical social structure to enforce discipline among the Tottenville sixth-graders who rode what he called his "Death Cheese Bus." Cianci, who was the "Emperor" had a 12-tiered ranking system, from "Lord" to the low-end "Speds" ("special education"). Police said Cianci permitted his high-ranking enforcers to rough up misbehaving kids."

Wow. Not much you can say about that, except I really wish I knew how and why he came up with the name Death Cheese Bus.

EVENT: Zombie Kickball!!! SUNDAY!!!

I meant to post this earlier in the week after seeing the flyer up at The SPACE Gallery during the Halfway to Halloween Horrorball, but got distracted.

Here is the text from a local art event listserv:

Zombie Kickball at the Eastern Prom 1pm..........dress up for this one!
Sunday May 28th
OK, imagine it . . . Memorial Day Weekend on the Eastern Prom, sailboats criss-crossing Casco Bay . . . young lovers, lazing on the grass . . . the smell of backyard BBQ's . . . the sound of children frolicking on the playground . . . and several dozen shambling, undead converging on the Prom for a knockdown, drag-out game of Zombie Kickball!  

What better way to celebrate the de facto beginning of summer?  Sunday, May 28th, 1:00pm sharp on the Eastern Prom kickball field! If you don't feel like playing k-ball, you can still help fill the Zombie Bleachers.

Please do send this to anyone you know who might be interested in eating brains... erm, I mean, playing kickball or cheering while dressed up as a zombie.

I think it goes without saying, but just in case someone has already eaten your brain -- the more zombies, the better this will be!!!

How to Find Bigfoot

Loren Coleman has posted an excellent article over on Cryptomundo that is full of helpful hints on setting yourself up to go out in the field in search of cryptids. Included are some pragmatic tips such as my two favorites:

Make certain you have brought blank tapes along, so you aren’t scrambling to decide whether it is your self-made Kenny Chesney or AC/DC tape in your truck’s cassette player that you are going to have to record over.

Have a few sterile collecting bottles or containers for fecal material samples and for urine specimens (for example from snow). It is recommended that urine samples not be collected from a live Bigfoot.

If you are thinking about venturing into the Maine woods in search of the Maine Ridge Monster or any other oddity, it can't hurt to be prepared!

EVENTS: Portland History Tours & Vids

Local historical enthusiast Dugan Murphy has taken the reins and decided to run with his ideas for making local history more accessible. The result? An upcoming series of great activities chock-a-block full of all sorts of interesting historical elements you probably don't know about, and which will change the way you look at our city!!!

NOTE: The video showings are at people's Free Space (144 Cumberland Ave) and the tours are as marked.

------------------------------------

Sunday, June 4th -- Congress Street Historic Walking Tour:
Meet in front of Portland City Hall at 3:00pm! Broaden your context and listen to tales of Portland's past and architectural heritage from local historian Dugan Murphy. The tour will end at Longfellow Square. Rain date: June 18.

Sunday, June 11th -- Holes in the Urban Fabric: A Cycling Tour of Portland's Worst Mistakes
Meet in front of Goodwill at Union Station Plaza on Saint John Street at 3:00pm. Bringng your bike! Tour the 20th-Century blunders and atrocities in Urban Renewal on Portland's peninsula with local historian Dugan Murphy. Rain date: June 25.

Wednesday, May 31 -- Video Showing: Experience Portland Past
7:00pm. This 60-minute video provides a colorful synopsis of the last four hundred years of Portland history. Stick around afterwards for discussion and Q&A with local historian Dugan Murphy.

Wednesday, June 14th -- Video Showing: Anchor of the Soul
7:00pm. This hour-long documentary tells the inspiring story of two institutions: the Abyssinian Church (built in 1828 and still standing) and the present-day Green Memorial A.M.E. Zion Church which have anchored the African-American community in Portland for over 150 years. Stick around afterwards for discussion and Q&A with local historian Dugan Murphy.

Wednesday, June 28th -- Video Showing: The Night Portland Burned
7:00pm. Come hear the harrowing tale of the Great Fire of 1866 in the form of this 30 minute video. Stick around afterwards for discussion and Q&A with local historian Dugan Murphy.
[Editor's Note: This is a film that they showed on television when I was a kid -- it gave me nightmares about Portland burning again! Good stuff, and a huge piece of Portland's history.]

Photo shows Congress Street as seen from the Portland Observatory on Munjoy Hill, photographed by J.P. Soule just over a week after the July 4th fire. Little was left, and residents were forced to make do with tents as dwellings. Good thing it wasn't in winter!

Squirrelly Behavior

My niece looked out the window this evening and found this fellow clutching the screen. He stayed for about 10 minutes until a swift rap on the window sent him scurrying down.

They've previously infiltrated the eaves of our house, but this is the first time a squirrel has tried coming through the front door.

Sister Betty and Crazy Helga

Sister Betty lives across the street in Portland from a woman she's dubbed "Crazy Helga." Betty even has a camera set up to deliver live streaming video of Helga's "little green shanty."

That she walks to church every morning cradling a plastic baby in her arms is no proof of mental defect. That she stands in downpours wearing stiletto heels, a thin skirt and sweater, wiping the water from her face in flailing, angry motions, is also insufficient proof. And perhaps, one might even disregard that she has, against her will, spent time in mental health facilities.

I call her Crazy Helga.

Crazy Helga's husband, Nearly Dead Olaf, spent his days sitting in a nonfunctioning Volkswagen, drinking beer and reading bad romance novels. Someone took the Volkswagen away, so now he just sits in a plastic chair and mutters at Helga. Nearly Dead Olaf is constructed entirely from small twigs and worn leather. He is a walking corpse.

Crazy Helga knocks on my door and announces: "I do not like gay people in my neighborhood!"

I retort: "I'm not so fond of crazy people in my neighborhood. Can I bring you a casserole?" [Link]

NEWS: Cougar Sighting in Waldoboro

Loren Coleman reports this week that there is a new Maine cougar sighting. The Lincoln County News reported the sighting:

“It has all the makings of a credible sighting,” Maine Inland and Fisheries biologist Keel Kemper said of Campbell’s five minute observation of the cougar.

Coleman also mentions that the area "has a history of sightings of black panthers." Good news for fans of the big cats in Maine!

Vinalhaven Ghosts with Horses

Over on the Unexplained Mysteries discussion forum, Marty Floyd posted on May 5th about an interesting experience he had about 7 years ago on Vinalhaven Island.

When I was about 15 (I'm 22 now), my family and I were looking at houses on Vinalhaven, ME. My Dad has a tendency to 'go exploring' as he likes to call it and drive down random roads wherever we are. As usual, he turned down one road on the island and as we were driving, we came across this young man walking a horse (he was walking on the ground and just leading the horse). He was wearing odd clothes, but no one really payed him any attention at the time. The topography of the road was strange in the fact that the embankments were about 10-15 feet tall on both sides the whole way down the road. And it was about 6 miles long. We encountered the man about halfway down the road.

So we kept driving down the road and eventually had to turn around (whole process took about 4-6 minutes, 8-12 minutes to get back to the same spot).

We were expecting to see the man again on the second passby.

He wasn't there.

So, being the skeptic that I am, I figured he had just hopped on the horse and rode him the rest of the way. But then I was thinking, horses at a normal walk or even a trot aren't going to make it 3 or 4 miles in 8-12 minutes (the time it took to get back to the same spot). And since the embankments were so high, he couldn't have gone off to the side. Or, my memory of the precise time was inaccurate.

So, my Dad being a complete disbeliever asked the real estate agent when we met up with him about 2 hours later how many horses were on the island. The REA said unequivocally that there were no horses on the island.

We ended up buying a house on the Island, and I have since spent a great deal of time there. One summer I searched for the road (when I was 20) and couldn't find it again. Vinalhaven isn't that big of an island and has a finite number of roads. I went over every single one.

Haven't found the road to this day.

SO, let me know what you all think. I'm more than happy to have this debunked and/or any good suggestions to what may have happened.

Vinalhaven will forever be wonderfully spooky for me because of its association with John Bellairs' "Spell of the Sorcerer's Skull," one of the best of his books, in my opinion. In the book, an early clue left by Professor Childermass leads Johnny Dixon to the Maine islands, Vinalhaven in particular, for some very chilling adventures. Good stuff. CREEPY and WONDERFUL!!! (If you go out looking for a copy, make sure you get the one with the Edward Gorey art.)

Our Horses Walked the Plank

In the WPA's Maine: A Guide Downeast (1970 revised edition), under page 242's entry for Old Orchard Beach, mention is made of the Scarborough Marshes, namely:

Large crops of salt marsh hay formerly were gathered on hundreds of acres of marshland. To keep the hayrack horses from sinking into the marsh, 7" by 10" oak slabs were fastened to their hooves.

The horses would only come out after the ground had begun to freeze, oak slabs or not! To prevent the tides from washing away the pre-harvested salt hay, the cut hay was piled onto "staddle sticks," the remnants of which can still be seen in the marsh today -- small groupings of stakes that peek out of the marsh at intervals. You've probably seen them when driving by on Route 1 but never know what they were (like me)!

Apparently, the salt hay was very desirable to farmers as feed, and as an additive to the piles of regular hay kept in their barns. The salt content in the hay made it fire resistant, and adding it to the regular hay in their lofts lowered the risk of a quickly-spreading barn fire, one of the more devastating hazards for farm owners and their animals. (Source)

Super-Sized Spuds

As a follow-up to the Gigantic Maine discussion, here's a promotional display for Maine potatoes from 1940. Folks in Aroostook County must have eaten well during the Depression.

From America from the Great Depression to World War II: Black-and-White Photographs from the FSA-OWI, 1935-1945 [Repro. No. LC-USF34-041744-D DLC].

Graveyard Discourse

As quoted in Over Their Dead Bodies: Yankee Epitaphs & History by Thomas C. Mann & Janet Greene (1962), a grave is found in Searsport, reportedly from the late 1800s. It reads:

Under the sod and under the trees
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod:
Pease shelled out and went to God.

The book reports similar or identical verse is found on two other gravestones, one in Barre, Vermont, and one in Nantucket, Massachusetts.

More like three Pease in a pod, if you ask me.

NEWS: 5,000-lb. Bell on a Rampage

This weekend brought a sense of urgency to residents of lower State Street (bridge side) that few had felt before when it was discovered that the 5,000 pound bell in St. Dominic's lofty bell tower had come crashing down forty feet into the tower itself. State Street traffic was rerouted and residents of some adjoining housing complexes were evacuated while officials scrambled to determine whether the damage was fatal to the bell tower's structure and thereby a threat to the safety of neighbors to the church.

Happily, unlike some of the rumors I heard over the weekend, the news appears to be good. While half the lanes of State Street remain blocked off, and assessments continue, the initial prognosis is encouraging. According to Sunday's Portland Press Herald, John O'Dea, the Maine Irish Heritage Center's excutive director, said reassuringly, "It's been here a long time and it will be here for a long time to come. The damage is confined to a real small area." The Heritage Center uses the adjoining building at 42 Gray Street for a housing program in the old St. Dominic's girl's school, and is in the process of renovating and restoring the 113-year old church for use as a genealogical library.

Beware of The Neighbor Without a Brain

The May 11 issue of the Union Leader reports that a Nashua, NH woman was charged with arson for setting her apartment building on fire. Debra McIntosh, 47, set her comforter on fire and threw it into the hallway outside her second floor apartment. McIntosh reportedly told police she didn't like the smell of the comforter and wanted to get rid of it.

I can't even begin to fathom how anyone could think setting fire to an object and throwing it in a hallway is a good idea. Plus if it smells bad to begin with, it's going to smell a whole lot worse when it's burning.

read more about the smelly comforter arson fire

SEARCH for info: Ceiling Dweller!

The latest and greatest rumor I heard was this:

A friend recalled around 10 years ago hearing about a strange episode in Augusta's Capitol Building. As far as he could recollect, a man had been found living in the suspended ceiling of one of the offices there. Suspicion had occurred when items began disappearing from desks and the staff refrigerator.

If anyone knows more about this tale, even a better idea as to the general date of the occurrence, I'd love to hear it. I can't find anything about it online.

NEWS: Giant Gnome Stolen!

Not content to heist miniature donkeys, New England's robbers have moved up in size to a 300-pound garden gnome stolen from a lawn in Milford, Massachusetts on Monday. For great little news clip on the gnomenapping, including a segment where the newscaster stands on the Magic Rock and disappears into thin air himself, go to the WCVB-5 website.

You will also find an article describing in detail the owner's feelings about the gnome, and his plans for fortifying his position if the gnome is returned. Hint: They include electrification and cement!!!

Courtesy of Amos Quito at New England Anomaly, of course!

NEWS: Grisly Discovery in Boston Harbor

Cranky Yankee over at New England Anomaly posted yesterday about a macabre discovery down in Boston. Workers at the Deer Island sewage treatment plant were checking recently installed screening machines at the facility when they discovered among the screened debris a tiny arm.

Severed at a point below the elbow joint, the forearm and hand are believed to have belonged to an infant, as their total length is about five inches.

Video footage of the facility and a local newscast from Boston's CBS-4 are available here.

It is surmised that the remains traveled from a location north of Boston, and local authorities in Suffolk County are asking that anyone who might know a recently pregnant women that now appears to have no baby to call them with the information.

Weird, man.

Another article can be found at WCVB-5's website, here.

NEWS: Wacked-Out Lawsuit

There is something weird going on in Maine Blogdom...check this out! Courtesy of Taylor Marsh. In capsule, a Maine blogger is the target of a multi-million dollar lawsuit by an advertising company working for the Maine Office of Tourism after criticising the firm and the MOT on his blog.

The ridiculousness of the lawsuit (what ever happened to Free Speech?!) is compounded by the fact that it is drawing attention away from what should be the real controversy!!!

A summary of events can be found here, including pertinent details such as: "The Maine Office of Tourism pays 3.9$ million a year to Warren Kremer Paino Advertising in New York to handle its advertising campaign. Part of this budget goes to purchasing internet traffic through Google AdWords and Overture to drive traffic to the MOT’s website, VisitMaine.com. The actual amount that is spent is unclear, but an interview with someone in the MOT in 2004 stated that it was $7,000 a month at that point."

Wouldn't you think Maine would know how to spend their money better? I though we were supposed to be thrifty.

To quote the Boston Globe:

Dutson, an independent Web designer, launched his blog last fall to comment on technology and Maine tourism issues. He has written commentaries ridiculing the state's tourism efforts and, last month, he posted a "rough draft" advertisement pulled from Maine's Department of Economic and Community Development website showing a collage of iconic images of the Maine seacoast, woodlands, and ski slopes, with a dummy phone number that turned out to connect to a line promoting a phone sex service. The agency had inadvertently placed the phone number on the draft advertisement for a presentation made to state tourism officials.

"This is supposed to be our biggest industry," Dutson wrote on his blog yesterday, referring to tourism, "but it's being run like a trailer park daycare on its 3rd notice from the Human Services people."

Also included in the above summary link are detailed accounts of the wacky hijinks of Dutson's attackers, including events like this: "Nancy Marshall, the PR maven for the MOT, sent an email to my wife’s boss, entitled ‘Are you aware what Lance Dutson is doing?’, putting pressure on my wife through her employer to get me to be quiet. She emailed my wife, and called her there also. She pulled my client list from my website and made calls and emails to them, telling them I was causing ‘personal pain and sleepless nights’, and saying that my actions were hurting the local tourism economy, apparently as a veiled threat that her wonderful PR services would be withheld if the local merchants didn’t force me to be quiet." Gee, they sound professional, the whole lot of them.

Crimes of Education

Almost as much fun as the Forecaster's police blotter on some weeks, the USM Free Press reports on crimes occurring on their campuses. The April 10th issue had a motley assortment of these, including:

March 21 -- Someone burnt a wall poster in Upton Hastings Hall. (Incendiary censorship, or just the result of our recent dry climate conditions? Poof!)

March 22 -- Someone reported a subject throwing fireworks at the windows of Portland Hall from the rear parking lot. (And what subject would that be? Surely not gentle Sociology. More likely that rowdy subject, Statistics. Ha!)

March 23 -- Someone reported cash was taken from her purse while it was in the Continuing Education Center. Ther have been several similar incidents recently. (The high cost of education. Not content to leave us all in debt, now they are taking petty cash from our belongings.)

March 24 -- USM Police had a Portland Hall resident's car towed becuase of unpaid fines. The police have also charged the owner of the car with theft of a parking boot. (Wait... did they place the boot on the car, have it towed, and then charge the owner with theft of the boot? Much akin to the practice of banks charging overdraft fees on top of overdraft fees.)

March 24 -- On the same date, someone reported a group of intoxicated underage people harassing the residents of Dickey Wood Hall on the Gorham campus. (If you live in a hall called "Dickey Wood," you're bound to be harassed sooner or later, liquor or no liquor.)

SMF - The End of the Street

Well, the time has come to make another entry into the annals of Strange Maine Fiction. Please welcome Red Burtt to the fold, with his tale about man's best friend, his dog. This is one of the strangest rants I've read in a long time, and if it doesn't make you start watching what goes on at the end of the street yourself, maybe you're on too much medication. A real corker of a story, creepy and insidious. The kind of thing that makes you wish you could just get back to sleep, dammit. The link wil send you to a PDF of the story. Enjoy!!

"I have asked my neighbor, when I do he just stares off into space, he has lived here for thirteen years I know he knows something but when I bring the subject up he starts talking about his Snow Blower, I don’t care about his damn Snow Blower something is going on at the end of this street and I want to know what the hell it is." --Red Burtt

Governor Bodwell?....Norman Bates?

Joseph Bodwell was a tycoon in Hallowells granite industry. He was so successful in his business pursuits, that he was elected Governor of Maine in 1887. Bodwell didn't have much interest in running for Governor and ran the office like a business. He never got to do much while elected as he died on December 15 of that same year.
Bodwell's home in Hallowell was built in 1875. In pictures that I've seen, the house looks a bit rundown, but is still a beautiful piece of architecture. It's all the extra little features that todays houses don't have that makes it such a treat to view.
I suspect it would look very creepy after dark, as if something sinister was going on behind the darkened windows which are so very good at hiding the dirty little secrets that occur within. In fact the more I think about it, Bodwell's house looks a little too much like this for me to be comfortable.

Odd Police Calls

After Michelle's May 2nd post about the Police Beat column in the Forecaster, it seemed like the perfect time to put in a plug for the Gorham Times and their police call log entitled "The Blotter." When viewing The Blotter you can always count on two things: 1) there are some very odd calls; and 2) cows are roaming the streets. Here are my favorite odd items from the first part of the year.

School St. caller wanted to know if it was okay to show dirty pictures from a cell phone. Her neighbor came over, entered the apartment without knocking, and showed her the pictures, which she believed were pictures of his anatomy.

Maple Drive caller wanted police to keep an eye out for her cell phone which she lost somwhere between Gorham and Bangor.

Vehicle ran over a shopping cart several times in a Main St. parking lot, and then the driver got out of the vehicle and threw the cart. There was no damage to the cart but the driver was issued a ticket for parking in a handicapped spot.

Brackett St. caller reported a suspicious man standing in the yard for the past twenty minutes. Officer confirmed it was a neighbor.

Clerk reported a male threw a burrito at him. Suspect had left the store. Burrito had been paid for.

Eight to ten cows were loose on Cummings Road and this time were eating the neighbors trees and shrubs and were up against the house doing damage.

Caller reported man dressed in all black standing on the sidewalk by a Main St. store. Man was waiting for a ride from his father.

Beech Circle caller reported he had brought a friend over to his house for a visit and they had been drinking. Friend was now urinating all over the house. Office responded to the scene to do an evaluation of level of intoxication.

Suspicious activity on Ossipee Trail was a family looking for a new car.

Files Road caller reported that a male had forced his way into the residence through the door. Caller then decided maybe she dreamed the incident because she thought she let him in but now realized she is still in bed.

Wood Road caller reported gate at farm was open and a herd of cows was loose, running towards Route 25. Officer advised he had called owner of the approximately 50 loose cows and owner was coming to help gather them up.

Gigantic TV Repairman

Here is the “Big Toolbox Bearing Guy” that Michelle mentioned in the comments section of the Gigantic Maine post a few days ago. The big guy is actually a sign for Hawkes Plaza, where Al Hawkes used to own and operate a tv repair service. Al not only installed the sign, he also made it!! Now that's impressive and it brings me untold amounts of joy. Like many other children, I was always completely enthralled when my parents drove past the moving repairman.

The 13 foot metal biped’s arm could be seen swinging back and forth from 1962 until 1989, when Hawkes was informed by the Maine Department of Transportation that moving signs are illegal in Maine. The fear is that the movement of the sign could cause a driver to divert his attention rather than watch the road. The MDOT does not explain why this fear does not apply to children, joggers, bicyclists, pets, and other cars, all of which are known to move much more than a hulking metal serviceman with only one moving appendage and a foot bolted to the ground.

The current sign owner, Bill Umbel, summed the law up very nicely when he said, “If something like this sign is going to distract you enough to cause an accident, then maybe you shouldn't have a driver's license in the first place."

Articles from 2005-
Beloved Sign Will Stay
Repairman Walks Again

The Heck with Mysteries!

Unlike those of us who reside here on Strange Maine, who are all about mysteries and would be weeping into our pockets without them, the associate dean of the College of Engineering at University of Maine Orono declares good riddance to pesky conundrums.

In the May 4th issue of the Bangor Daily News, reporter Aimee Dolloff wrote about recent events on the campus by which a search for a large historic bell were finally brought to a close, and has a word with Mr. Rock on the matter:

"It was one of those days you just kind of take a deep breath and go, 'Wow, finally,'" Rock, associated dean of the College of Engineering, said Wednesday after the bell had been taken down.
[...]
While the mystery has been intriguing, Rock said Wednesday he's glad it's over."I don't want any more mysteries," he said.

The funniest part of the whole deal, and perhaps one of the annoyances of it for Rock, is the fact that the bell was perched above everyone the whole time in a cupola on the roof of the Fogler Library. I wonder if it giggled to itself, or if it talked the pigeons that were using it as their homebase into starting a betting pool to see who could guess when the staff would finally home in on its location. Or perhaps it was on tenterhooks to be brought back out into the public eye again, and feted and loved.

At any rate, if Mr. Rock has any unwanted mysteries kicking around, he can just send them our way. :)

Danvers Demolition

A massive issue looming on the New England historical horizon, now passing from it, is the bulk of Danvers Asylum, in Massachusetts. In a too-late effort to document its passing, I and Salli left the house at 4:00am and popped across a couple of state lines this weekend to see if we could sweet-talk our way in and take some photos before most of it came tumbling down. As you can see we were late, late, late. Avalon Danvers is imminent. The cranes crawl over the hilltop like giant carnivorous brick-eating insects. Buildings' innards are exposed to sunlight they never saw before in an agonizing admission of defeat. This is Danvers on the way out.

Gigantic Maine

This giant Bean Boot on Flickr reminded me of other giganticized Maine icons. Like the huge potatoes depicted on postcards aboard wagons, railroad cars, and trucks (the last may well be an Idaho spud). Or the monstrous lobster claw in Winter Harbor. It was perhaps caught in this oversized lobster trap in Lincolnville.

Let's not forget 35-foot-tall Paul Bunyan standing in Bangor. Though even Paul was put to shame by the 113-foot snowman in Bethel.

Though not a Maine icon, Eartha is definitely a tourist attraction as the "World's Largest Revolving/Rotating Globe."

Have I missed any?

EVENT: Free Stormtroopers!

No, wait, what I meant to say was Free Comic Book Day is this Saturday, May 6th! Visit your local comic book seller and scoop up some goodies. Yum! And as if free comics weren't enough, the local chapter of Star Wars Stormtroopers are scheduled to be at the Windham Casablanca Comics store from 11:00-2:00, so bring your cameras (light sabers?)!!! These guys are from the 501st New England Garrison. I swear they are actually friendly (despite the photographic evidence).

Bangor's BAT Bus

Neal Harkness, writing From Belfast Common, asks "How cool are the Bangor busses?"

The correct answer is "Way cool."

All Manner of Fuss

The Forecaster has some interesting and often seemingly minor events mentioned each week in its Police Beat. In its April 13th issue I found a few that for one reason or another caught my eye (my commentary in red):

Where's the Dirt? 4/7/06 at 3:56am -- Someone requested to see an officer about a confrontation in a lot while he was sweeping. No complaint was filed.
Now... these people are very busy at 4:00 in the morning, no? Gives new meaning to the Maine work ethic. I wonder what the confrontation was about?

Argument. 4/8/06 at 3:25am -- A mother and daughter were arguing over usage of a computer.
Again, I am wondering what in the world these people are doing in the wee hours of the morning. Apparently, arguing over computer use. Iiiiinteresting.

Thirst for Knowledge. 4/8/06 at 10:14am -- A 16-year-old who was reported missing was seen walking to the library where he was located and taken home.
No, you will not be allowed to read books. NO! A thousand times no.

Other times, the titling of the articles is the funnest part of the deal.
Bad delivery. 4/9/06 at 9:05am -- A mailbox was smashed on East Main Street.

Then again, sometimes the language used to write up the incident provokes unwonted hilarity and/or confusion.
Suspicious. 4/2/06 at 12:48am -- Two men were at the rear of a residence on Durham Road. Police couldn't locate them.

The Forecaster has a wonderfully individual take on the police blotter action that always entertains while informing, and I've enjoyed it for years. The paper is available on a weekly basis in a handful of localized editions in most newstands. I get mine at the Back Bay Hannaford's in Portland, or at Granny's Burritos on Fore Street.

NEWS: Alligator Found in Maine!

Goodness. Just when I thought it might be nice to take a nippy spring dip -- then THIS little fellow comes along! Reported on WCSH-6 news as I was watching it this morning, I found out on opening my e-mail this morning that I am way behind in catching this oddity, as Village Soup posted the story way back on April 22nd, according to Loren Coleman's article here.

Having recently re-watched Lake Placid, which purportedly takes place in Maine, this all seems a little too funny. Hee hee!

Be sure to visit the young tailflapper at York's Wild Kingdom this summer to see how he's doing.